Awful news
- Thread starter rmndcat
- Start date
Man, this is dreadful news. A reminder to enjoy every day to the fullest , since you never know if it will be your last. Here is the official release:
http://nusports.com/news/2017/1/9/w...-mourns-loss-of-sophomore-jordan-hankins.aspx
http://nusports.com/news/2017/1/9/w...-mourns-loss-of-sophomore-jordan-hankins.aspx
Unimaginable. Just think about getting that phone call. Or having to make it. Condolences to the family.
I lost one of my best friends almost a year ago to suicide. It was completely unexpected and jarring. He had a one year old daughter and on the surface seemed to be totally fine. Depression is a terrifying disease and what's awful is that you'll never get answers. My thoughts and prayers go out to her friends and family.
When I attended NU back in the early 90's, I think there were 2 suicides in Foster-Walker. What is it about that place??? When I read the initial story and learned she lived in FW, I was concerned it could have been a suicide.
What a tragic loss of an extraordinarily talented individual. Depression is a serious and very unpredictable disease...
What a tragic loss of an extraordinarily talented individual. Depression is a serious and very unpredictable disease...
So true. Foster-Walker Complex has a history.
What a very sad and heartbreaking story.
That was my immediate thought as well. The same was true in the 70's. The problem is that they are single rooms. Someone can slip into depression and no one will know until the hall starts to stink.
I thought the same thing. How terrible.
No open dorm doors in Plex. As I recall, not really much proximity to other dorms. Easy to get lost.
How sad.
A great deal of demands on students while at a top school like NU. Keeping GPA's high, meeting professor/teacher demands, meeting new students, financial stresses from high cost of school, very cold weather, demands from self,coaches,boyfriends/girlfriends, all while losing the support back home of mom/dad ,community. So many transitions that colleges need to make a concerted effort to be open and honest about these stressors,while providing support. I addressed this with the President of NU after the suicide of a student on Lake Michigan a few years ago. What all colleges need, imho,like NU, is small based seminars on emotional well being such as I present on an hourly and daily basis for years. I too suffered debilitating grief while a student athlete at NU. Fortunately,I was able to get much needed help from the student services department for my three month depression I suffered as a true frosh,even after obtaining a 3.0 and winning a varsity letter in wrestling.
I feel awful for all who knew her, but especially for her family. That wound will take a long time to heal, if it ever does. I also feel awful for Jordan herself. The decision she made is not one that's made with a healthy and well mind. I pray that her soul finds peace.
Perhaps they need to ask people, "Why do you want to room alone?" I had a single in college and it never occurred to me that I was cutting myself off but in retrospect, I kind of was.
Different strokes for different folks. I lived in Hinman House for 4 years as an undergrad. The house had a very collegial feel. I had a roommate for the first 2 years, and lived in a single the last 2. I liked the privacy of a single to get serious work done, but enjoyed eating together at the "Hinman table" in Sargent (even though the food was really crap), reading the paper in the common area, playing spades or hearts, playing IM sports as the Friars, watching TV or playing pool in the basement (this was before the internet), and drinking or smoking pot together on weekends. It was a small enough residence that we enjoyed a social life together, although there were clic's and not everyone was best buddies.
I think the issue is less single rooms and more about forming housing communities for the kids. NU is a pretty competitive place with lots of academic and social stress. Friends I had (in the 70's) who lived in the Plex said it was much less social than my (now defunct) Hinman was. Which is a problem.
I was much, MUCH happier once I got a single room. My roommate couldn't care less if I was slipping into depression and would probably cheer it.
I think there's value in a freshman year roommate. If a person decides that the roommate thing isn't for them, more power to them.
I had a great friend that lived in Plex as a freshman and was miserable - a single sounded nice in theory, but the loss associated with living in a fairly non- social dorm environment was not worth the benefit of playing the music as loudly as he liked.
Of course, we don't know whether this young lady lived with a roommate as a freshman. How tragic, really.
From a psychological perspective, it is about experiencing overwhelming loss/grief for the first few times in one's life,without available coping or self soothing mechanisms. My own three month depression as a freshman was a result of getting beat up in matches (I was 6-10) as a frosh, while in high school, I was 70-1 during the regular season. I also thought I was pretty smart until I saw my grades at NU, and the kids were getting lots of As. I also lost contact with a lot of high school friends, and had few people to talk to. Also, I had very little spending money. Lots of loss to deal with for an 18 year old. They called the ambulance for me 37 years ago in the cold,lonely winter. I am forever grateful for Chuck Pistorio at Student Services and Bill Tempelmeyer,at Housing, they helped me get back on my feet. We need to be able to process those negative feelings and the student services dept at NU is their for those needing support. Nearly all human beings experience loss/depression of at least 1-4 months before the age of 30-40! For teens at top flight schools like NU,it is likely earlier. My buddies on the baseball team, several ending up as b pros, had tough losses also. Got to talk about all emotions, not just the good ones.
I don't think any family ever recovers from a suicide in the family. Except in the case of a terminal illness.
I have nothing but sympathy for Hankins' family.
What galls me is how one of Madoff sons, a 40-something father of two (I think) young children, took his own life to escape the reckoning of the fraud he helped perpetuate. A parental suicide that leaves a child is a horrid, selfish and dammable legacy.
Maybe if I'd gotten to pick my roommate, but my freshman experience with a roommate was absolutely miserable. He and his buddy (our next-door neighbor who was always in our room) broke open and consumed a care package my parents sent me when I wasn't there, no respect for my property, etc. Some malicious stuff I won't go into. I could have (and would have been justified to) filed a complaint but it's not in my nature. Once I got a single I actually did develop a friendship with them but my personal experience with a roommate was miserable and the only lesson I learned was not to have a roommate, which is probably a bad life lesson but there you have it.
My freshman year, as far as the roommate experience, I had one but just had a neutral relationship. We were not friends and we were not enemies and we hung out in different circles. My sophomore year, I had a roommate and we were more conversant, but we were not necessarily close. My junior and senior year, I had a roommate that I was friends with. I would really think it would be a bad situation to live with a roommate who was actively against you.
I am in the club that was sort of hit my freshman year with poor grades for the first time...I did not get depressed about it but when I returned to my hometown for Winter Break my freshman year I worked a couple of weeks -- one day I was sick but still going to work and in the early morning hour I was waiting to get on a city bus and was fumbling for my bus fare when the bus driver just told to just get on the bus (I guess I looked so pathetic at that moment that he took pity on me). That was probably my toughest time at NU, but I just toughed it out and got my grades up overtime to the point that I later got my NU degree and now have two master degrees.
The sad thing about suicide is the finality of it. People are depressed or worried about stuff and think that ending it all is the option in a moment and if they choose death, then it is final. It could have been grades or a personal relationship or family issue or a mental health issue or anything and it is unfortunate that a talented young woman decided to take her life when she apparently had so much to offer the world.
I am in the club that was sort of hit my freshman year with poor grades for the first time...I did not get depressed about it but when I returned to my hometown for Winter Break my freshman year I worked a couple of weeks -- one day I was sick but still going to work and in the early morning hour I was waiting to get on a city bus and was fumbling for my bus fare when the bus driver just told to just get on the bus (I guess I looked so pathetic at that moment that he took pity on me). That was probably my toughest time at NU, but I just toughed it out and got my grades up overtime to the point that I later got my NU degree and now have two master degrees.
The sad thing about suicide is the finality of it. People are depressed or worried about stuff and think that ending it all is the option in a moment and if they choose death, then it is final. It could have been grades or a personal relationship or family issue or a mental health issue or anything and it is unfortunate that a talented young woman decided to take her life when she apparently had so much to offer the world.
Grief is one of the four true emotions that is with all human beings hourly and daily our entire lives. Why not embrace and learn from it? I tried the same thing as Jordan as a freshman. Fortunately, I got help at the last minute. The sad part for me is that I told our president at NU about a healthy preventative measure, but the school fell short on my request. I emailed the president again yesterday. We need to do emotional well being workshops for all students. Give them credit for the course. This will likely be a reacurring event unless we utilize preventive measures.
Michigan appears to have a mental health program specifically to address student-athletes. Wonder of the other BIG universities maintain such programs? Imo, I would imagine that student athletes face some unique pressures..
http://athletesconnected.umich.edu/
http://athletesconnected.umich.edu/
That's too bad you had that experience. I was very fortunate. My assigned Elder Hall roommate and I hit it off from day one and we are still great friends today. It was one of the better parts of my overall great experience at NU.
Hinman House is gone. Its Pike now. I lived there as a freshman. I was in Pike about two months ago, they added elevators and an extra stair case. It also seemed smaller than I remember.
I could have used the elevator. I broke my ankle playing IM softball, and was on crutches while living on the 4th floor at the end of the hall next to the sun deck between Hinman and CCS. Was a LONG trek from the lounge to my room.
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