Young men in college

[Aging Booster]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

 

[its_the_sauce]

Your entire life is a continuation of your childhood. You're only as old as you feel.

 

[gocatsgo2003]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

Feels like parsing the words of a 15- or 16-year old junior in high school to make a grand statement on a cultural change that you perceive negatively.

Would you have been as triggered if he said “adolescence” instead of “childhood?”

 

[Aging Booster]

Feels like parsing the words of a 15- or 16-year old junior in high school to make a grand statement on a cultural change that you perceive negatively.

Would you have been as triggered if he said “adolescence” instead of “childhood?”

How did I indicate that I perceived this change to be negative? In reading the press announcement I was very much struck by his use of words. Words matter. I am an academician who lives by the use of words and my job involves me, everyday, in analyzing words as indicia of cultural tensions, moods, and changes. It is what I do. I merely found his statement interesting, perhaps even provocative, and largely consistent with other observed data.

 

[corbi296]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

I may be staying the obvious, but the millennial generation is a reflection of how they were raised. There are some very good characteristics they are demonstrating, but also some that are troubling. All of those tendencies are a reflection on the generation of parents that raised them.

 

[docrugby1]

Your entire life is a continuation of your childhood. You're only as old as you feel.

I need a date for the prom then

 

[Hungry Jack]

Your entire life is a continuation of your childhood. You're only as old as you feel.

I’m a ten year old kid with eighty year old knees, shoulders and lumbar vertebrae.

 

[ThatkidfromHolland]

I'm in college. I'm a kid till I graduate or start living on my own supporting myself fully. In my eyes at least. Although I doubt I'll ever truly feel like an adult

 

[FloridAlum]

You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.

 

[CatManTrue]

Think about all of the technological advances and cultural shifts that have occurred in the past 40 years. The PC, the laptop, the smartphone, social media, artificial intelligence, the 24/7 news cycle, advances in medical technology that are extending life expectancy, psychiatry, massive amounts of college debt, and a more global awareness: just to name a few. New doors have opened that never existed before, and any mistake that you make could be remembered forever.

I wasn’t alive 40 years ago, but I am an older millennial and even my childhood was much simpler than “kids these days” - age 12 and on were similarly difficult with the explosion of the internet. When you consider how much things have changed, it’s easier to understand why adulthood could take longer to develop and the maturity curve lengthens. But I do agree that a 26 year-old is not a kid and he shouldn’t think of himself as such.

I’ll get off the lawn now...

 

[Aging Booster]

I'm in college. I'm a kid till I graduate or start living on my own supporting myself fully. In my eyes at least. Although I doubt I'll ever truly feel like an adult

Why do you doubt that you will ever feel like an adult? I do not think you are unusual among people your age in feeling that way, yet your attitudes do differ substantially from those of earlier generations. Seriously, why do you question your ability to feel "grown up"? Is adulthood frightening, and therefore something to be avoided, if possible? Is it undefined for you, and therefore hard for you to project yourself into? I'd like to understand as many of my students, I believe, feel the same way.

 

[ThatkidfromHolland]

Why do you doubt that you will ever feel like an adult? I do not think you are unusual among people your age in feeling that way, yet your attitudes do differ substantially from those of earlier generations. Seriously, why do you question your ability to feel "grown up"? Is adulthood frightening, and therefore something to be avoided, if possible? Is it undefined for you, and therefore hard for you to project yourself into? I'd like to understand as many of my students, I believe, feel the same way.

Well I'll consider myself an adult then. Just I won't feel like one. Just I like to think of adults of having stuff planned out and things figured out l, even though ik that's not the case

 

[GOUNUII]

The millennial generation is a reflection of how they were raised. There are some very good characteristics they are demonstrating, but also some that are troubling. All of those tendencies are a reflection on the generation that raised them.

I couldn't agree more. There is an awful lot of poor parenting going on. I'm 61 on the biological clock, and my generation is largely responsible for it. I see it everywhere. Within my own family, with nearly 40 nieces and nephews spread across 12 brothers and sisters (including the in-laws), and among our friends and their families. The kids who are taught early notions of self-reliance, humble self-confidence and accountability/duty to others, are given opportunities to live out those ideals in ways that are important to them and then witness those same qualities through the conduct of their parents seem to do much better.

GOUNUII

 

[RhabdoWildcat]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

I think financial independence is one issue. College is now a requirement, not an option, for most seeking a well paying job. My understanding was one could make a decent living graduating high school whereas now that’s not as feasible. Thus we feel like school is just continuing and we’re not real adults. This continues as we get into more debt from grad school or try to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loans.

As a working professional in my 30s, my colleagues are at least 15 to 20 years older than me and I feel like a damn child when I’m with them. Talk of second homes, stock options, etc. are a not a reality for this generation when we’re trying to make rent and pay off student loans.

 

[StreamCat]

Feels like parsing the words of a 15- or 16-year old junior in high school to make a grand statement on a cultural change that you perceive negatively.

Would you have been as triggered if he said “adolescence” instead of “childhood?”

Is there nothing that doesn’t set you off? Triggered? I’m wondering who it was that got triggered here.

 

[StreamCat]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

I’m 66. It was years before I could refer to myself as a man. It felt strange to me. I had five kids by the time I could do it.

 

[hoosboot]

Well I'll consider myself an adult then. Just I won't feel like one. Just I like to think of adults of having stuff planned out and things figured out l, even though ik that's not the case

Well...you're almost there! Being "grown up" means that you have learned how to pretend you have stuff planned and figured out. When you're "a kid", you still believe that the "adults" actually do. We're all just making it up as we go along.

 

[hoosboot]

I think financial independence is one issue. College is now a requirement, not an option, for most seeking a well paying job. My understanding was one could make a decent living graduating high school whereas now that’s not as feasible. Thus we feel like school is just continuing and we’re not real adults. This continues as we get into more debt from grad school or try to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loans.

As a working professional in my 30s, my colleagues are at least 15 to 20 years older than me and I feel like a damn child when I’m with them. Talk of second homes, stock options, etc. are a not a reality for this generation when we’re trying to make rent and pay off student loans.

You make a really good point in noting that college is expected and it's just a continuation of a school mindset that is the focal point of childhood. And financially it's a different world for people in their 20's and 30's. The cultural compact we have as a society has changed so much in the last 20 years.

I also think that so much more has been expected of high-performing millennials at an early age than was ever expected in my younger years, so it's no surprise some people come out of college and see it as a time to enjoy and relax a little instead of jumping immediately into ultra-serious responsibilities. I, frankly, encourage people to make the most of their 20's because life gets serious enough soon enough.

 

[corbi296]

I think the evolution of our economy has something to do with it. We have transitioned to a service economy that on average requires a higher level of education for an individual to achieve economic independence. Given that, kids are expected to be in school longer and consequently be on their parents dime longer. That has impacted/delayed the whole maturation timeline that parents have for their kids.

 

[phatcat]

Your entire life is a continuation of your childhood. You're only as old as you feel.

I walk a fine line between childlike and childish.

 

[rwhitney014]

They're entering a system that bars them from taking outside jobs, prohibits them from making money or accepting anything of value deriving from their primary activity, obligates them to a set of curfews and academic requirements, restricts their schedules and calendars even during the 9 months of the year during which they're not competing in their system, and subjects them to what's pretty much the absolute rule of a single central authority figure. And we're asking why they still think of themselves as kids and not adults?

This is not meant to be a commentary on the NCAA's business model, which is not really relevant to the discussion. But if these athletes aren't going to get the benefits of adulthood, why should they be held to the standards that come with it?

 

[NURoseBowl]

Your entire life is a continuation of your childhood. You're only as old as you feel.

You're as old as your fastball says you are.

 

[NURoseBowl]

I’m a ten year old kid with eighty year old knees, shoulders and lumbar vertebrae.

Eh, vertebrae are overrated.

 

[Alaskawildkat]

I think you officially become an adult when you receive that unwanted letter from AARP telling you that you are now qualified to join even though you just finished paying off your student loans the week prior and were getting set to refinance your house with a thirty year mortgage.

It seemed like receipt of my invitation letter from AARP coincided what I still maintained was just a recently passed 30th birthday.

 

[stpaulcat]

Now before a bunch of folks start writing, "Get off my lawn", and criticizing me for condemning millennials, let me state that I like cultural analysis, and that necessarily involves noticing differences over time, region, and other factors. It is in that context only that I offer the following quote from a "boy" who, with his twin brother, recently committed to play football and study at the University of Minnesota: "It is very important. Dino and I are so close. I'm just very happy we're spending the rest of our childhood together."
When I was in college, we thought of ourselves as adults and were regarded as such by administrators, professors, and parents. Adulthood brought with it the freedom to drink, to have sex, to buy a car, and to make one's own decisions. Forty percent of my high school graduating class went to work, not to school, after HS. Many had families, jobs, and apartments years before I graduated from college. Going to college did not infantilize us or postpone adulthood. College was, in effect, our job at that point in life.
A couple of years ago I met with a former student of mine for a round of golf and a couple of beers. He was then 26 years old, a lawyer and engaged to be married. At one point, in talking about working in the law firm, he referred to his peers and himself as "kids". I stopped him and asked, "Mike, you're 26 years old. When will you stop seeing yourself as a kid?" He responded by saying that he saw his parents, not him, as adults, but maybe he should reconsider.
Today I read that a HS student perceives his college years to be a continuation of his childhood - something I would have thought ended well before he entered HS. It provides food for thought. How did we come to this degree of change in forty years and just what does it indicate?

When I was in my early to mid-twenties, balding middle age guys calling us "young man" was the highest insult. And I believe that was intended.

 

[LACatFan]

Well I'll consider myself an adult then. Just I won't feel like one. Just I like to think of adults of having stuff planned out and things figured out l, even though ik that's not the case

I have bad news for you. The older you get, the less you have figured out. So maybe just enjoy the ride.

 

[NUCat320]

It’s really weird that a high school junior referred to college as “childhood”.

That said, nobody believes keg stands and Edward Fortyhands and Power Hour playlists represent “adulthood”.

 

[NUCat320]

I may be staying the obvious, but the millennial generation is a reflection of how they were raised. There are some very good characteristics they are demonstrating, but also some that are troubling. All of those tendencies are a reflection on the generation of parents that raised them.

High schoolers aren’t millennials, for what it’s worth.

 

[NUCat320]

Well...you're almost there! Being "grown up" means that you have learned how to pretend you have stuff planned and figured out. When you're "a kid", you still believe that the "adults" actually do. We're all just making it up as we go along.

At some point in my early 20s, I was at my parents’ house, and there was some obligatory event - dinner at the neighbors’, or an engagement party, or a cousin’s birthday party or something that they had to attend. From the next room, I heard my dad make some comment about how *ridiculous* it was that they had to go, and I felt relieved to realize that it was perfectly grown up to *not* want to go to such obligatory events.

It was comforting to know that some things didn’t have to change.

 

[stpaulcat]

High schoolers aren’t millennials, for what it’s worth.

What are they?

 

[stpaulcat]

You're as old as your fastball says you are.

You're as old as Football Phil tells you you are.

 

[NUCat320]

What are they?

Gen Z.
Millennials are considered birth years of ~1981-~1996, so all millennials are of working age now.

 

[stpaulcat]

I need a date for the prom then

Right, one who doesn't care you are as old as you feel.

 

[stpaulcat]

Gen Z.
Millennials are considered birth years of ~1981-~2006, so all millennials are of working age now.

Ah, the New Silent Generation. Brings back memories.

 

[corbi296]

High schoolers aren’t millennials, for what it’s worth.

Who said anything about High Schoolers?

 

[corbi296]

Gen Z.
Millennials are considered birth years of ~1981-~2006, so all millennials are of working age now.

What? People born in 2006 are of working age now? Where?

 

[LACatFan]

What? People born in 2006 are of working age now? Where?

Anyone born between 1981 and 1996 (ages 23 to 38 in 2019) is considered a Millennial, and anyone born from 1996 onward is part of Gen Z. (born between 1996 - 2015).

 

[NUCat320]

Who said anything about High Schoolers?

This thread was a reaction to a statement from current high schoolers.

What? People born in 2006 are of working age now? Where?

Oops. 1996. Edited as such.

 

[corbi296]

Anyone born between 1981 and 1996 (ages 23 to 38 in 2019) is considered a Millennial, and anyone born from 1997 onward is part of Gen Z. (born between 1996 - 2015).

Ok, he said to 2006. Must have been a typo.

 

[NU Houston]

Gen Z.
Millennials are considered birth years of ~1981-~1996, so all millennials are of working age now.

And they're destroying the workplace!