Why I spoke out on LinkedIn and will continue speaking out (RIP Caleb 😢)

[CatManTrue]

In fall of 2005, I was off campus as an intern at GE healthcare up near Waukesha and the ugliness that Camp Kenosha became. When @CoralSpringsCat discovered Kenosha, it was PERFECT for football. A massive campus that was dead at the end of summer where Barnett could rally the team, coach them without distraction, and build a positive culture of optimism. This is what I was sold as a preferred walk on when Northwestern recruited me in 2002. I turned down scholarships at smaller schools after my one season of varsity football. I was sold on the whole “3 Big Ten Championships in 8 years” too. I loved Big Ike, Coach Walk, Coach Patton, Coach Brown from Kent Roosevelt (I helped turn nearby Hudson from a loser into a winner by playing and then coaching for free during the summer of 2005. I talked Bill Nagy’s dad out of sending him to Wisconsin because of what happened to me in 2002).

When I was at GEHC, my friend Caleb killed himself. I got an email from my buddy Jon on the rugby team listserv and was saddened and confused.

When I got back to campus, I wanted to find out what happened to my friend. Caleb and I had befriended at 600 Lincoln my freshman year. I quit the football team but was cool with all the student athletes on campus except for the guys who bullied and abused me as a 19YO. There were constant fights and drunken nights amongst the student athletes, and a few brawls. The cops were there a couple of times even.

I found out that Caleb killed himself because he was gay. I was shocked. I did not know that Caleb was gay, and I did not care.

I had a bunch of gay or bisexual teammates at Hudson and at Northwestern. Now it is commonplace, but back then they were bullied the most and quit or transferred at a faster rate. Even if we needed them and their talent.

I now suspect that Caleb was assaulted or shamed. I think someone threatened to tell his parents back in Hong Kong that he was gay. His family was very anti-gay, and Caleb should have been safe in Evanston.

He wasn’t. I heard it was a grisly and bloody mess in his dorm room. 😔

I miss Caleb. He was smart, kind, and the kind of guy you wanted to be friends with at Northwestern. He played rugby for years despite being too damn skinny and had a funny nickname.

I spoke out for Caleb and all the kids in the nupredators thread and many other survivors of the toxic Northwestern atmosphere.

I want a full investigation by Loretta Lynch into all campus suicides for the past 20 years in honor of Caleb and other LGBTQ+ who were assaulted and shamed.

40% of LBTGQ+ people consider suicide at some point in their lives. This is inhumane. It must stop.

#GreenLivesMatter
#AllPeopleMatter
#RIPCalebNU2005
#PurpleAngel2Soon
#SellTSLA
#BuyTLSA

Go Cats.

 

[CatManTrue]

In fall of 2005, I was off campus as an intern at GE healthcare up near Waukesha and the ugliness that Camp Kenosha became. When @CoralSpringsCat discovered Kenosha, it was PERFECT for football. A massive campus that was dead at the end of summer where Barnett could rally the team, coach them without distraction, and build a positive culture of optimism. This is what I was sold as a preferred walk on when Northwestern recruited me in 2002. I turned down scholarships at smaller schools after my one season of varsity football. I was sold on the whole “3 Big Ten Championships in 8 years” too. I loved Big Ike, Coach Walk, Coach Patton, Coach Brown from Kent Roosevelt (I helped turn nearby Hudson from a loser into a winner by playing and then coaching for free during the summer of 2005. I talked Bill Nagy’s dad out of sending him to Wisconsin because of what happened to me in 2002).

When I was at GEHC, my friend Caleb killed himself. I got an email from my buddy Jon on the rugby team listserv and was saddened and confused.

When I got back to campus, I wanted to find out what happened to my friend. Caleb and I had befriended at 600 Lincoln my freshman year. I quit the football team but was cool with all the student athletes on campus except for the guys who bullied and abused me as a 19YO. There were constant fights and drunken nights amongst the student athletes, and a few brawls. The cops were there a couple of times even.

I found out that Caleb killed himself because he was gay. I was shocked. I did not know that Caleb was gay, and I did not care.

I had a bunch of gay or bisexual teammates at Hudson and at Northwestern. Now it is commonplace, but back then they were bullied the most and quit or transferred at a faster rate. Even if we needed them and their talent.

I now suspect that Caleb was assaulted or shamed. I think someone threatened to tell his parents back in Hong Kong that he was gay. His family was very anti-gay, and Caleb should have been safe in Evanston.

He wasn’t. I heard it was a grisly and bloody mess in his dorm room. 😔

I miss Caleb. He was smart, kind, and the kind of guy you wanted to be friends with at Northwestern. He played rugby for years despite being too damn skinny and had a funny nickname.

I spoke out for Caleb and all the kids in the nupredators thread and many other survivors of the toxic Northwestern atmosphere.

I want a full investigation by Loretta Lynch into all campus suicides for the past 20 years in honor of Caleb and other LGBTQ+ who were assaulted and shamed.

40% of LBTGQ+ people consider suicide at some point in their lives. This is inhumane. It must stop.

#GreenLivesMatter
#AllPeopleMatter
#RIPCalebNU2005
#PurpleAngel2Soon
#SellTSLA
#BuyTLSA

Go Cats.

Fyi: like most things, I wrote this quickly on my iphone before I forget.

Like Chesty learned… CTE is scary and incurable. But we are working on it at my company.

I hope #1 Cam Porter plays again after the bye. We need him. Just like we need everyone. If I could cure one disease, it would be suicide.

 

[gocatsgo2003]

In fall of 2005, I was off campus as an intern at GE healthcare up near Waukesha and the ugliness that Camp Kenosha became. When @CoralSpringsCat discovered Kenosha, it was PERFECT for football. A massive campus that was dead at the end of summer where Barnett could rally the team, coach them without distraction, and build a positive culture of optimism. This is what I was sold as a preferred walk on when Northwestern recruited me in 2002. I turned down scholarships at smaller schools after my one season of varsity football. I was sold on the whole “3 Big Ten Championships in 8 years” too. I loved Big Ike, Coach Walk, Coach Patton, Coach Brown from Kent Roosevelt (I helped turn nearby Hudson from a loser into a winner by playing and then coaching for free during the summer of 2005. I talked Bill Nagy’s dad out of sending him to Wisconsin because of what happened to me in 2002).

When I was at GEHC, my friend Caleb killed himself. I got an email from my buddy Jon on the rugby team listserv and was saddened and confused.

When I got back to campus, I wanted to find out what happened to my friend. Caleb and I had befriended at 600 Lincoln my freshman year. I quit the football team but was cool with all the student athletes on campus except for the guys who bullied and abused me as a 19YO. There were constant fights and drunken nights amongst the student athletes, and a few brawls. The cops were there a couple of times even.

I found out that Caleb killed himself because he was gay. I was shocked. I did not know that Caleb was gay, and I did not care.

I had a bunch of gay or bisexual teammates at Hudson and at Northwestern. Now it is commonplace, but back then they were bullied the most and quit or transferred at a faster rate. Even if we needed them and their talent.

I now suspect that Caleb was assaulted or shamed. I think someone threatened to tell his parents back in Hong Kong that he was gay. His family was very anti-gay, and Caleb should have been safe in Evanston.

He wasn’t. I heard it was a grisly and bloody mess in his dorm room. 😔

I miss Caleb. He was smart, kind, and the kind of guy you wanted to be friends with at Northwestern. He played rugby for years despite being too damn skinny and had a funny nickname.

I spoke out for Caleb and all the kids in the nupredators thread and many other survivors of the toxic Northwestern atmosphere.

I want a full investigation by Loretta Lynch into all campus suicides for the past 20 years in honor of Caleb and other LGBTQ+ who were assaulted and shamed.

40% of LBTGQ+ people consider suicide at some point in their lives. This is inhumane. It must stop.

#GreenLivesMatter
#AllPeopleMatter
#RIPCalebNU2005
#PurpleAngel2Soon
#SellTSLA
#BuyTLSA

Go Cats.

Fyi: like most things, I wrote this quickly on my iphone before I forget.

Like Chesty learned… CTE is scary and incurable. But we are working on it at my company.

I hope #1 Cam Porter plays again after the bye. We need him. Just like we need everyone. If I could cure one disease, it would be suicide.

Seek professional help. Seriously. Speak to a professional instead of yelling into the void. You’re clearly dealing with some stuff, this isn’t the forum where you’re going to get actual healing.

 

[PurpleWhiteBoy]

I found out that Caleb killed himself because he was gay.

Being gay doesn't make you kill yourself.

The factual way to say that (assuming you have your facts right) is that Caleb was gay and he killed himself while attending Northwestern.

Anything beyond that seems like pure speculation, which is not appropriate, especially publicly. How does that honor your "friend?"

 

[loyolacat]

We may never fully understand human nature but man I hope we are moving forward....It seems that a highly competitive climb to the top society/culture we live in makes it hard to except and promote everyone. But telling the truth and standing up, being visible, certainly seems to be an important factor in moving forward. Hope you keep telling your story...I am sure there are organizations on NU campus that would be interested to hear your story and have you involved. As a teacher for 35 years it did my heart good when our rather small conservative town allowed the schools to have LBTGQ+ organizations that provided support, visibility and recognition for those kids and nothing left me feeling emptier than when there was a suicide. I hope you find a place where you can help make a difference ....A value is only a value if you take action... I also hope that both the schools that I root for NU and LU provide the support and acceptance these kids, still trying to find their way need....

 

[CappyNU]

Caleb was my fraternity brother, and this is not the place to be speculating about his reasons for suicide. That day was an awful one that has been stuck in my mind for 2 decades, and I do not appreciate it being brought up here where he can not speak for himself.