Hungry -
Actually, early on, I had several meltdowns regarding fan abuse of my property. One was during an NU-HogEye game back in the late 80's, when I went back to the homestead at halftime for a bathroom break and to quaff a quick beer when I saw a 911 Carerra w/ Io_a plates parked in the middle of my backyard lawn, along with a Honda 75cc dirt bike parked in my driveway - w/ no note from either on my back door... or anything else for that matter to acknowledge that the owners decided to use my property as their personal parking lot. Since I left for the beginning of the game just after the initial kick-off, it was more than obvious that both jack-holes had arrived and parked there sometime in mid-Q1 after I left the premises and decided to impose themselves on me and my family regardless of consequence. I got so incensed that I lifted the freakin' dirt bike and planted it on the roof of the Carrera with little regard to any damage being done (was still pretty strong back then) and then let all the air out from 3 of 4 of the Porsche's tires to ensure that the owner couldn't make a quick get-away after the game. Then I called the cops & North Shore Towing who had a standing city of Evanston contract to tow illegally parked cars throughout the neighborhood on game days. The cops arrived and saw the heavily scratched & dented Carrera roof with the dirt bike planted on it... took one look at me then gave me a knowing wink & nod of admiration for my ingenuity at payback. Then North Shore Towing arrived and hauled the Carrera & dirt bike to their site off Howard Street. After the game the very distraught Carrera owner (a obviously wealthy 20-something entitled a-hole) knocked on my back door desperately asking what happened to his Yuppie mobile - stating that he thought it had been stolen off my property. I told him that I didn't have a clue where his vehicle was... then asked why he didn't leave a note or anything else to acknowledge that he was using my lawn as his private parking spot. When he got p.o.'d at that reply and realized just what had happened, I grabbed him by his collar, gruffly dragged the bum from my porch to the curb and deposited him into the street. This Mensa Man realized I meant business (kinda like what happens to many uninformed folks when meeting FootballPhil for the first time) and left, never to be seen again. The next home game, I noticed a couple of Evanston coppers parked on Livingston at my residence and went to thank them for their service. The officers told me that they had heard about the condition of the tow-aways when their buddy coppers arrive on the scene after the previous game. Both agreed that a definite poignant point was made to the owners of both vehicles when they showed-up at the station house to report their vehicles stolen - in the form of trespassing and illegal parking citations and fines given them, as well as $175 in towing fees from NST. All three of us had a hearty laugh on that one.
