I grew up on the south side of Chicago in a predominately Irish Catholic neighborhood. Half of the 200 kids in my elementary school identified as Irish Catholic and the Catholic school across the street had like 1000 kids in it. I used to get mocked and bullied every St Patricks Day onto way home from school. Recently, I did the Ancestory.com thing and discovered I'm 17% Irish so I feel I can tell this Irish joke and still be PC.
The joke part starts here.
There was this Irish fellow who lived on the south side. Of course his name was Paddy. Every night Paddy would walk down to McMurphy's Irish pub and order three beers. Three beers all at one time. He would bring the three beers and usually order three more. Occasionally, he would even order three more for as many as nine beers.
The bartender, Murph himself actually, said to Paddy, "Ya know Paddy, old fella. Ya doesn't have to order tree beers at the same time. You could order a beer and I'd bring it to ya in a nice frosty mug and when ya finished ya could order another beer and I'f bring a fresh'en for yeh and so on and so forth all the night long."
Paddy replied, "No Murph, ya gots ta understand. When I order me tree beers, I order one for me and one for each of me two brudders back in Ireland. And when I'm sittin here with da tree beers on the bar, I tink a dem and it feels like we are a little bit togeder."
Murph understands and so it goes for a long time.
One night Paddy comes in and he only orders two beers and drinks them down and orders two more, drinks them down and two more until a total of ten beers. The next night the same and the next night the same. This goes on for a week. Murph becomes a little concerned so finally he screws up his courage and says to Paddy (who is a rather private person), "Paddy, I'm sorry about your brother." Paddy replies, "What ya talk'n bout Murph? What have ya heard bout me brudder?" Well, says Murph, "Every night you come in and order three beers one for yourself and one each of your two brothers back in Ireland. This past week or so you have only been ordering two beers and you seem kind of solemn lately so I assumed something had happened tone of your brothers."
"Oh, no, no." Paddy replies, "There is noth'n wrong wit me brudders. What ya dinna know bout me Murph is that in me old age, I've become a very religious man. I've given up beer for Lent."